What is it that’s really important?
I know that I say God is my most important priority, as Lord of my life; but am I really reflecting that? How I spend my time doesn’t reflect that. The thoughts that run through my head don’t reflect that. My actions and accusations while I’m driving certainly don’t reflect that. But at the end of the day, if you blatantly asked me to compromise my dedication to my faith, I would put my foot down.
I guess that’s why the schemes of the enemy are more sneaky than they are straightforward.
He picks at how I spend my time, and I start doing other good things. My actions get picked at by my good intentions to help out. That which I devote my time and energy to slowly take over my thoughts. My thoughts affect my emotions. My emotions slowly infect the condition of my heart. And eventually, I’m back before God crying out and confessing and asking for His help to heal my heart.
I guess it’s something to be said that I don’t give up on my faith or my dedication to the Lord… not outright, anyway. But I wonder at my own priorities when I evaluate what distractions I’ve made time for and what positive habits I’ve let go by the wayside.
And I know my excuses. “Work was really busy this week.” “I’m so tired.” “I haven’t had time.” Which sometimes become, “God isn’t happy with me right now.” “He wouldn’t want to hear my prayers anyway.”
I’ve compromised my priorities, which compromised my habits, which compromised my time, which gets to my thoughts, my emotions, my attitude, my heart. The key to fighting this is to start with my heart, and it will be made right down the same trail. I know this; I’m not doing it. I hope you can identify with this confession.
I need to remember again that His love is unconditional, especially when my imperfect condition tries to convince me otherwise.
So, for now, my step one is to get back to the Truth. God loves me. God knows me (including the fact that I’m not perfect, along with all my particular screw-ups). God forgives the sincere heart. I will trust Him to take me the rest of this journey that He knows what I need, and I will remember to serve Him with all that I am and am able to do.
If you haven’t checked out the song “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North, I recommend it for remembering that you are truly and sincerely loved, just as you are.