“It’s growing again.” Three words I (Kendra) never want to hear again. That last time I heard it was June of 2016. Since then, I have been overwhelmed with a wide range of emotions: anger, fear, thankfulness, jealousy, love, and so much more.
This year has changed me.
I question what I can do. This seems to me that I do stupid things more often, like I keep interchanging numbers. I am not as comfortable in the kitchen, because I use the wrong burner often. I struggle following directions like new recipes or driving directions. I lose focus quickly. During VBS, I wanted to quit teaching. Every time I couldn’t find the words or used the wrong word, Satan would whisper, “You CANNOT teach anymore.”
But I am learning how to replace Satan’s lies with the truth. My brain may make things seem impossible, but I serve a God who does the impossible everyday. My brain may disappoint me, but my God does NOT. The more I deal with this tumor, the more I realize the truth in 2 Corinthians 12:9-11.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by my weakness. Sometimes, I want to quit. Sometimes, I don’t know how to keep going. In those moments, God often sends me a reminder of His grace.
His grace reminds me that my God can do anything He wants. His grace reminds me that I am loved, even at odd times. Recently I was at a funeral. The speaker said the deceased was overwhelmed by God’s love.
And the small voice in my head said, “I don’t want you to be overwhelmed by anything other than My love and grace for you. You don’t have to wait until you die, either”
Christians, we will experience God’s grace at our judgement day, but He wants more for you. He wants to strengthen you every time you feel weak.