Nadirah Angail recently beautifully wrote a post, describing the pain of many women when it relates to having children. This post focuses on the pain of three women. The first woman mourns because she has not been able to have children. The second woman deals with criticism because she has a large family (5 kids). The third woman deals with only having one child. As a woman that only has one child and who desperately wants more, she describes my pain very thoroughly. And I appreciate her efforts to bring light to my situation, but I don’t agree with her conclusion.
Her conclusion is this: “These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their wombs are their own. Let’s respect that.”
For the most part, I would agree with her. But not talking about my pain doesn’t make my situation better. Now, I don’t need my pain to be the center of every conversation, but we don’t need to completely avoid the topic. If we talk about it, I hurt. If we don’t talk about it, I still hurt. But please be careful with your advice or opinion. I don’t need everyone’s opinions, but I could use everyone’s support. Anyone with pain (which will eventually be us all) needs the support of others. Let’s look at the way the Bible tells us to support one another.
Prayer (James 5:16). Pray that I will have more kids. Pray that I will be healthy for my kids. Pray that I will have understanding as I wait for God’s timing.
Love (John 13:35). Please be careful what you say or imply.
Honor (Romans 12:10). Please don’t belittle my situation. Please respect me.
Care (1 Corinthians 12:25). We are called to take care of one another like we would our own body parts.
Comfort (2 Corinthians 13:11) Sometimes, we need others to acknowledge our pain.
Be gentle and patient (Ephesians 4:2)
Encourage (1 Thessalonians 5:15). Sometimes, we need others to say, “I know it is hard, but you can do it.”
There are many more ways to support one another. The Bible is full of suggestions, because, as people, we were not made to be alone. God wants us to be in a relationship with Him and other people. The point of this blog is that sometimes we allow our pain to separate us from others. That is what the deceiver wants. He wants us to feel alone and ashamed of our pain. He wants us to feel like we have to deal with it by ourselves.
But that is not how God created us. Healing comes from God, often through other people. He wants to use our pain for His glory, not to destroy us.