So yesterday, we had an appointment with the neuro-oncologist. The pathology report says that the tumor is the same as last time: oligoastrocytoma grade II. I reread what I wrote on Facebook roughly two years ago about my first pathology report, and still agree my diagnoses causes more questions than it answers. In addition, my doctor would like to be able to keep it from returning in another two years, so additional treatment should be considered this summer. But for now I am recovering from surgery and am nursing our baby, so we will hold off on any immediate treatment.
So as I wrote after getting my first pathology report, I am probably going to die, and for that matter you are too. We don’t know when, and we don’t know how, and there is not much that we can do about that.
Yes, I want to worry about my health. Yes, I am concerned about personality changes (It is a common side effect of the meds and the tumor). I don’t want to be a financial or emotional burden to my family. Yes, I want to see my children grow into Christ-like adults, but Matthew 6:25-34 tells us not to worry about tomorrow.
Specifically, Matthew 6:33-34 says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
God is in charge of my health. He controls my spirit. He will and has provided the financial and emotional satiability. Once again, I just need to trust Him, but let me tell you, I am struggling. But I keep reminding myself that God has proven Himself faithful, and He will continue to be faithful. I am trying to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. And to be completely honest, his kingdom is glorified because of my tumor. It has encouraged many prayers. It has given us opportunity to talk about the greatness of Christ to others we would not have talked to and that seems to make it all worth it.