For those of you who are curious about my writing abilities, I wrote and proofed this blog by myself. It may not be perfect, but I praise God that I am able.
The most difficult time in my life was probably the months after my first surgery. After surgery, I quickly appeared healthy, and the verbal encouragement became less common, and depression set in. The bills started appearing and I was questioning if I was really worth the cost. The anti-seizure medication was intensifying my feelings of worthlessness.
When I was preparing for my second surgery, I was afraid of depression that I associated with recovery and the medication. I prayed to my God who is stronger than depression that He would show his strength to me. For the last six weeks (since surgery), one of the ways that God has answered that prayer was teaching me three concepts about remaining in Him found in John 15:1-17.
First, remaining in Jesus is required for producing lasting fruit that glorify God. Since college, one of my stated goals in life is to glorify God, but often I try to do so in my own strength. When I tried to glorify God in my own strength, I fail. I have to remain in Him and his Word. When I do, God produces his fruit which includes his love and joy.
Second, when we remain in Jesus, we will experience God’s love and his complete joy. I have been taught that joy is not dependent on circumstances. I understood his joy as a decision. I have to decide to have joy. Recently, my husband challenge me to think of joy as a gift. I still have to accept it, but ultimately joy comes from God.
Third, when we remain in Jesus, we will receive whatever we ask (verse 7 and verse 16). John repeats this twice in this short passage. This does not mean we get every selfish desire. Rather when we remain in Jesus, our desires become what His desires are for our life and that He will always give us. So when I get discouraged because I might die before my little one grows up, I remind myself to remain in Jesus and he will give us both what is best for us.
So life may be hard, but I am not alone as long as I remain in Jesus and he wants to be your support during hard times too.