I don’t know what is harder – preparing for brain surgery or recovery from brain surgery. The preparing is filled with fear – the fear of death, the fear of brain damage, and basically the unknown. The recovering is also difficult. Because of the swelling in my brain, it is difficult to remember basic information. Thursday was surgery, and on Friday I could not remember my name and birth date. Even today, Tuesday, I cannot speak or write like I want to. It is taking a lot of effort and help to write this small paragraph.
But even when my thoughts have been stripped away, I am comforted by Palms 46. God will be exalted and nothing is required of me except, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to worry about my future. I don’t need my abilities. I am a tool used by God, and I don’t need anything more than that.