At this point in my life, Thursdays are my favorite day of the week.  Because that is my husband’s scheduled day off, we often do fun activities on Thursday.  But some Thursdays are different.

Our daughter was sick, and my husband was gone most of the day.

He was working hard.  Not only did he visit the sick, he also worked hard helping a friend with improving their fencing.  When he finally returned home at 8:30p.m.(ish), our daughter (who was sick but wasn’t acting sick) wanted his attention.  He played with her and helped put her to bed.  He didn’t eat supper until after she was in bed.

While he was finally eating, he asked me to get something for him.  I joked, “You left me all day with a sick child, and then you expect me to serve you.”

I considered what details I could overlook so that I could tell you this story, and it would make my husband look bad.  Overlooking that fact that my daughter was acting normal (she had watering eyes and a running nose).  Overlooking that my husband was working hard.  Emphasizing that my main interaction from that day was a sick preschooler.  Emphasizing that my husband was with his friends most of the day.  Emphasizing my husband’s germaphobic and paranoid side.  Emphasizing that he chose to abandon his family on his only day he had to be with his family.

Even with accurate facts, I could make make my day sound miserable.

And if I had focused on those details, I could have convinced myself that my husband doesn’t care for his family well, but I chose not to be a victim.

Many people act as though they are a victim of their circumstances.  I could say, “Well, I have cancer, therefore I can’t enjoy life.  I am undergoing chemo, therefore I can’t have high goals for 2017.”

And sometimes, your circumstances will affect your life.  I can’t just say, “I am not a victim of cancer, and therefore, it will not affect my life.”  That would be silly.

But I do have control over the details I am choosing to focus on.
Today, I am focusing on trusting Jesus, coming to Him with my desires, and trusting Jesus to make me more like Him.  Even though He died, He was not a victim.

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  1. Excellent article! I am familiar with the situation you described in my life with my wife and children. It is so easy to judge the wrong way because of the wrong focus.
    James tells us in the Bible that we are to rejoice in our sufferings. These sufferings, or trials in life are what push us towards God and to be more like Him. It is as you said “a matter of focus”. Who or what are we focusing on makes all the difference. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks for responding. You are right. It is easy to judge incorrectly. Sometimes, we just need to focus on the truth (Jesus) to know what is really happening.

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