Before my dream life disappeared…

Before my miscarriages…

Before finding an unknown mass in my brain…

Before surgeries…

Before chemo…

Before radiation…

Before I was aware of the lies that limited who I was…

God loved me (Romans 5:8).  I belonged in His family. 

In 2009, I was excited.  I was set up for my dream life.  I was married and in ministry.  I was waiting to start our family.  While I was waiting to get pregnant, I volunteered to write our VBS curriculum.  I studied, researched, and wrote about the love of God demonstrated in Luke 15:11-32 (I encourage you to read it).  Jesus is telling parables about God’s love to His people.

I was convicted by the second son’s statement:

“Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends” (Luke 15:29).

The second son wasn’t jealous of the father’s attention, but rather he wanted a party for himself and his friends.  How many times have I wanted (and still want) to have fun with my friends, rather than being loved by God? But God still pursues me.  He still loves me.  He loves me unconditionally, even when I don’t act in love.

God’s love enables me to grow through my struggles: disappointment, pain, unfulfilled dreams, and more.

Through all of my struggles God continued to love me.  God’s love was my foundation while I learning:

  • To process my emotions
  • Identify my lies
  • Replace them with the truth
  • Be more like Jesus
  • Love like Jesus loved
  • To trust Jesus

It is hard to cling to the Truth (Jesus) without His love saturating us, but with God’s gifts I am able to trust Jesus.  I will try to explain how to cling to truth and how to overcome our struggles in future posts (and the other things I have learned).

If this helps you, please subscribe and you will receive an email when I post, and please share.

My Prayer for us:


Thank you for loving unconditionally.  Please help us to not doubt you love.  Make us aware of your presence all the times.  Help us to receive your love.  Keep away the lies that tell us that we can’t experience your love.

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