Life is hard.  It comes with struggle and problems.  I keep turning to the Bible with my desire and pain.  Hoping and desiring what I want.

  • Hoping and desiring to find a promise that keep my family safe.
  • Hoping and desiring to be healed on earth.
  • Hoping and desiring to enjoy life again.

And every time, I find Jesus, our God, the one who loves us, the one desires us.  Jesus, the faithful one, who wants to give me that desires on our heart. But first, He command me to give the desires of His heart (aka me).  

Problem:  I am broken and the world suffered, because of sin. I am pretty good at hiding it.  So much, that I don’t even admit my brokenness- even to myself. Is it easier to just admit that I am broken, rather deal with the specific hurts.  When I try to reveal that even to God, it hurts even more. I don’t like pain, that why I hide it. It is hard to give God part of myself that I deny is it even there.

But I have learned, I can’t hide effect of sin- even someone else sin. Sin works in the background as long as it can.  When it is forced out, it is extremely ugly.  It is fill with anger and bitterness.

As I tell my daughter, there are options.

  • Deny, Deny, Deny.  Deny that is a problem. Or better yet, that problem is in someone else. I don’t recommend this strategy.  Sin will come out- probably uglier than it should be.
  • Numb, Numb, Numb.  Hide the sin and/or the emotions association with it.  My favorite is emotional eating or playing games. Others chose alcohol, illegal drug, internet, television, ect. When I chose to numb myself, I am limit my ability to love and have joy.
  • Love, Obey, Serve.  When we learn to love, we obey Jesus.  When we obey Jesus, we serve. When we serve, we look like Jesus.  There is no other way.

Often, we wish Jesus would just make us the perfect now.  That is not how to chose to make us more like Him. It is a service journey.  Sometimes painful, but completely worth it.

I invite you to join, because the journey is easier together.


Embrace Jesus

Reveal yourself

Enjoy Jesus’ Promises

Enjoy the community

It will be worth for you too.

Join the Conversation


  1. Kendra, thank you for sharing your thoughts, but most of all sharing your wonderful witness to God. You are all in our prayers. (by the way-we are friends of your parents)

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