She’s needy

My baby is ten months old now.  She is normally is joyful.  Just today, I was told that she is the happiest baby that particular person knows. Normally, I would agree.  God has given her great personality.  I am so glad that I am her mom.

If you haven’t noticed, I stressed that she is normally a joy.  The last few days, whenever her dad arrives at home, I am so ready, because she had annoyed me with her abnormal neediness.  Considering yesterday morning, she had two exposed teeth. Now, she has three, and I wouldn’t be surprise if she has four in the next few days. I understand her neediness, but the title of this blog doesn’t refer to her.  I’m the needy one.

Last week, I did another five days of chemo, but unlike the previous month I was sick. Not that I was throwing up, but would have been willing if it would have made me feel better. In addition to feeling nauseous, I was so tired.  Since starting this cycle of chemo, I don’t recall conquering any days without the aid of a nap or two.  On Saturday afternoon, my husband woke me up for the day, because he didn’t know what else to feed our hungry daughter.  For a week now, I haven’t done much of anything.  Often I have had my husband serve me, and I have wished that my daughter was old enough to help around the house. It has been almost a week, and I am still needy.

I don’t say this to complain, rather to explain. On Monday night, I was discussing my situation when I heard myself say, “Since God was so good to me last month, I was hoping that I would feel better this month.” I don’t think that there is anything wrong with hoping that I feel good, but I should never connect God’s goodness with how I feel. Am I a bad mother because my daughter has experience pain this week?  NO!  But I would be a bad mother if I ignored her all day.  God is not a bad God when he allows suffering.  He is a good God, because He doesn’t leave us alone through suffering.

Psalm 100:5 says, “For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting And His faithfulness to all generations.” Psalms 106:1 says “Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.”

And that is just the beginning of verses that declare God’s goodness.  So when I want to complain about all my troubles, I should praise God because he is with me.  When I forget, I praise God that He gave me the Bible to remind me that He is good all the time.


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